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Below are some of the most asked questions we get. If you
still have a question to ask, please contact
us.
How far back must I order?
As far back as you can, you naughty little procrastinator.
Availability and the ability to deliver when you need it are
dictated by a first ordered/first served policy. For delivery
orders we need a minimum of two day's notice (a week would
be much, much better), at least one day's notice for pickup
orders, and if a large number of linens are required they
must be ordered on Monday for us to get them by Wednesday,
so 2-8 days in advance depending on when you need them (for
example, a Tuesday event would require ordering on the Monday
before). Got it? Lovely.
How much is delivery?
Delivery starts at $40 round trip, based on equipment volume,
driving distance and degree of difficulty. Stairs, long
distances between where our drivers can park and where you
want the equipment, skinny gates, aggressive rodents, and
anything else that causes our drivers to jump through hoops
will cost extra. So will deliveries and pickups after 6
p.m. See our delivery guide to approximate cost, and to
get an exact tally call us at (512) 444-1110.
What if I don't want to pay for delivery?
Then our delivery personnel will starve, and so will their
families. But hey, if you don't care, we don't care. You can
pick up and return orders at one of our two downtown warehouse
locations, both in the Warehouse district about one block
away from each other. Those delivery guys will just have to
suck it up and get a third job.
Is there a minimum order?
NO! I mean yes. $20 is our guideline but if you're really
accommodating about it we might flex a little. There is no
minimum equipment order if you are willing to pay for delivery.
Is there a maximum order?
MAYBE! But usually we can make up the difference if you exceed
our capacity to provide.
How should I return equipment, or
have it picked up?
First remove all blood, hair and DNA evidence. Then get those
damned pieces of tape, staples and thumbtacks off the tables
— the party's over, Cha Cha, and there's nothing more
depressing than pulling the dirty, flaccid remnants of some
birthday or anniversary off our tables with our fingernails.
A good rule of thumb is leave it the same way you found it,
but if that's too vague, chairs folded and stacked seat up
either 50 or 25 high (depending on how they were delivered,
of course), tables with legs folded and stacked, and all of
it in once central easy-to-get-at location. At least one of
our delivery drivers will attempt to split your wig if everything's
strewn all over the place still set up when he gets there
to take it away, and he's a pretty big fella. In fact, once
he split his own wig just to prove how willing he is to split
wigs. We're thinking of calling him Mr. Wigglesplit.
Is there anything I need to do to
protect the equipment while I'm using it?
This should be obvious, but keeping it out of the rain would
be a fantastic start. Not putting stickers or graffiti would
help us a lot too. Also, not setting it on fire or dropping
it off a tall building or speeding truck would be just wonderful.
And, uh, well, we're kind of going to have to ask you to just
go ahead and sort of not destroy our stuff through malice
or inattention. Hmmm. Yeah. That would be great.
Do you require a deposit to hold
an order, and do you charge a damage waiver?
No. Frankly we think deposits and damage waivers are the
moral equivalent of treating everyone like criminals instead
of treating the actual criminals like criminals. However,
we are amazingly vindictive about broken/damaged/lost equipment,
and you'd be better off buying a new chair and bringing it
to us than bringing us a broken/damaged chair, or not bringing
it at all. Most of our employees are fresh from prison and
willing to return at the drop of a hat (they miss the food),
so don't give us a reason to come visit you. Also, canceling
at the last minute without a pretty convincing reason will
be frowned upon, and while we won't charge or otherwise violate
you, we might be unwilling to do business with you again.
Then you'd be stuck with one of the other rental companies,
and that's its own punishment.
That sounds pretty mild. Is there
really any penalty for stiffing Musical Chairs? I mean, you
don't have my deposit, so what can you really do about it?
That's an excellent point, you amoral jackass. Is this what
20 years of watching MTV does to a person? Makes them incapable
of doing the right thing just for the happytime satisfaction
of getting along with the other animals? Well, if you won't
be shamed by the moral weight of your actions, we must do
it for you. Stiff Musical Chairs and we will post your name
and info on our Hall of Shame, wherein you will be characterized
as the worthless bag of crap that you are in as many creative
ways as we have the energy to invent. Also, we'll post your
address, phone number and anything else we can get on the
web site under a big red sign that says "Call this deadbeat
at 4 a.m.!" Enjoy!
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